Broken Light: A Photography Collective

We are photographers living with or affected by mental illness; supporting each other one photograph at a time. Join our community, submit today!

Behind the Mask

Photos taken by Sara, 23, who has experienced major anxiety and panic attacks. She has lived through mental abuse, physical abuse, and social abuse in her past. More recently, she has been rushed to the hospital three times for severe rapid heartbeat and near loss of consciousness, and was told on all occasions it was due to anxiety. She has since been prescribed Xanax, and is in the process of coming to terms.

About these photos: For many years I have watched my mom suffer from depression, and lately have been diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks myself. I feel like for many years I hid the pain I felt and the hardships I was going through and it manifested itself into a painful and awful panic disorder that I cannot seem to get rid of no matter how positive I am or how much I love myself. I still feel the pain weighing heavy inside like I did when I took these pictures. I was hiding behind a mask of happiness and feeling nothing but pain and heartache, these photos were my way of showing myself that I needed to break through the evil and open up my heart to being a truly happy person. Even though it has barely happened and these were taken 5 years ago, I feel like I have made huge progress since then. I am hoping to one day be a happy person free of people and things that bring me down and make me feel like I did when I took these photos. Until then, I allow the happiness to leak out whenever possible and let the evil out in horrid, loud outbursts. I can’t hold it in anymore. Its just not healthy! 


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15 comments on “Behind the Mask

  1. Syncopated Eyeball
    May 10, 2012

    These are great! Panic attacks are so debilitating and scary.

  2. magikdolls
    May 10, 2012

    Thanks D, beautiful post for me, you are awesome at translating things in such a gripping and true way. I am honored to be a part of Broken Light Collective. Thanks so much. The only thing is my name is linked but the link doesn’t go through, was this intentional? Just thought I would let you know.
    Much love and thanks

    • Fixed. Sorry about that, I copied it from you but it needed the http. Thank YOU for being a contributor and sharing your story. Can’t wait to see what you come up with next.

      • magikdolls
        May 10, 2012

        You know it! With my spirits lifted and camera in hand I shall deliver greatness! Hehe this really put a smile on my face and brightened my day. Can’t thank you enough.


  3. Pingback: My photography has been featured on Broken Light Photography « Magik Life

  4. Damn Que Mala
    May 10, 2012

    Reblogged this on Into the Mouth of Madness.

  5. Irfan Hussain
    May 11, 2012

    amazingly eerie

  6. Irfan Hussain
    May 11, 2012

    especially the first one

  7. eof737
    May 11, 2012

    Sad to read this and sending Sarah healing light and love…

    • magikdolls
      May 14, 2012

      Receiving light and love <3 Thank you for that.. I really appreciate it.


  8. bestweddingdressforyou
    May 11, 2012

    wow…that’s very impressive!

  9. columbibueno
    May 11, 2012

    So powerful.

  10. beachcomber
    May 13, 2012

    Wow. Utterly magnificent and conveys a world of meaning.

    • magikdolls
      May 14, 2012

      I meant a world of meaning. I am pleased they touched you in that way. Thank you for commenting <3


  11. magikdolls
    May 14, 2012

    Thank you, all of you beautiful people! Much love!


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This entry was posted on May 10, 2012 by in Anxiety and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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